Walking in her shoes: cultivating empathy through storytelling

By Lilian Chudey Pride

A woman in my neighbourhood told me a touching story when I was 15 years old, and her story taught me the striking difference between “Pity “and “Empathy”.

She was a close acquaintance of my mother, though she is late for over a decade now, but her silent pain, grief and regrets over unfulfilled dreams as she took time to tell her story still ring a bell.

She had been forced by her parents at tender age to marry a man old enough to be her father. She began bearing children immediately, but, as a new child arrived, she would lose the previous one. She was in that situation for years and lost thirteen (13) children, all males.

Instead of looking into her plight critically, she was blamed, labelled, tagged and excluded. Worse still, her family and society expected her to remain in that dire dilemma.

So, for years, all she held onto were pictures of her deceased infants. She did not have much to say or do about her journey, because, according to society’s unwritten laws and norms, “she must” remain there to save face.

Where she needed support, she was denied, where her voice should have echoed, she was silenced.

This could be the case of some involuntary childless women today,
“TO SAVE FACE”.

Saving face is not healthy; when you hide your malady, it kills you fast, when you share, you find help easily. Many involuntary childless women have fallen victim in the hands of some unscrupulous “solution providers”.

Empathy begins when we choose to listen without judgment.

“Walking in her shoes” means recognizing that not everyone’s joy looks the same during the holidays.

When organizations make policies that include these women, they would have leverage to seek help in safer places; when you create storytelling circles where employees can safely share personal experiences from parenthood to childless journey, bridges of understanding emerge.

Such exercises don’t diminish anyone’s joy; they expand it. They teach compassion and broaden the heart of corporate humanity.

Organizations and institutions may consider hosting empathy sessions or story circles this Christmas where life journeys are heard and honoured, this will promote inclusion.

For involuntary childless women, share your story with courage; your truth carries light that can shift workplace culture.

Every story deserves to be heard.

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